Monday, 29 December 2008

Bloggy Bloggy!

So, what with me whoring advertising this on various website signatures, I figured, might as well write something, right? In the off chance someone might actually read this thing (crazy as it may sound).

But then it came to be the old question - what? What the frak do I want to write about. I mean, besides shitting myself about wrk I need to do this week for school starting on the 5th, what is there for me to write about on here? And then it hit me.

So, let's talks about sex.

Wait, no, sorry, I meant Twilight. My brain must have gotten confused by how much people in my school have been orgasming over the thing. Woops. Sorry to get your hopes up, gentle viewer... reader... whatever.

What's the big deal? Seriously. Everything I've heard about this (even from people praising it) sounds, well, shit. Let's take the film.

I watched the trailer, and I must say, it looks horribly made, cliched and gaudy. That trailer in no way made me want to see this film, in fact, it was an anti-trailer, it had the opposite affect. Yet a strange amount of people are saying its a good film. *looks at trailer*... *looks at picture of 'Edward' and 'Bella'*... Seriously? Patterson looks like a junkie, and whoever the chick is playing Bella couldn't act herself out of a Harry Potter film. 

(Those kids can't act! Even though I enjoy the HP films, those kids can't act!)

Where was I? Oh yeah. Doesn't look good. Now the hearsay about the books.

From a reliable source about books (despite her liking of the film), they're awful, badly written tripe. Another person I know said they couldn't get past the first few chapters it was so bad. Then there's the kicker...

Now, I'll clarify something. I am a HUGE fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Joss is God). Now, imo, they got vampires right. For various reason, one being they weren't tack or cheesy. They were actually cool and frightening. Frightening. Something needed for Vampires. Now, the kicker...

They. Fucking. Sparkle.

What the...? Apparently vampires don't burn in sunlight. They sparkle... Right. Now, while I object to changing certain things about Vampire lore (Including the sunlight thing), I accept it's up to creators which parts of the lore they use, and if it wasn't for the sparkling thing, I wouldn't mind. But... Sparkle? Honestly, how did she come up with that? 

"Hmm... Vampires are badass, ageless, soulless killers... How can I best show this? *ponders*... Ureka! I'll make them sparkle in sunlight! Oh yeah, the kids will LOVE this..."

It's also awful for teenagers. As far as I can surmise, it's a very abusive relationship, and it also is fucking with teenage girls.

*Actual Quote from a friends bebo* "I Know That Its Not Just Edward - If Any Of The Cullen Boys, Particularly Jasper, Were Atainable It Would Be 'Goodbye Mortality' & Hello Twilight! Its Hard To Remember What I Did Before Twilight."

Yup. Actual Quote. That's not right.

So, for all these reasons, I ask, What the fuck is up with this Twilight nonsense? I see no reason why people like it. If anyone can actually explain logically and non-OMG-IT'S-TEH-EDWARD-AND-BELLA-OMG-ILOVEHIM!!! kind of way why they (or someone they know) likes it, I'd appreciate it.

Is it just me being cynical? I don't think so, since I know some Twilight haters in my life.

One more thing on Twilight. Well, two.


Well, that's my ranting done for today. Phew. It's always good to get a little ranting done. Makes you feel better.

Back to shitting myself about school work not being done because I'm watching Battlestar Galactica.


  1. RC said...

    I never understood the hype about Twilight. Yes, like every other book, it will have fans and it will have haters. But this many fans? This many haters, even? I would like to know the REASONING behind this, since I never actually read the books, and all I ever hear is "it is so great."
    Sparkling? Are you serious?

  2. TheRealF'nShow said...

    Sparkling, yup. Apparently, in the twilight universe, Vampires don't burn up in sunlight, they sparkle...
    That alone is enough condemnation for this series, imo.

  3. Catherine said...

    I have a friend who works at a movie theatre, so she occasionally drags me along to use up her free tickets. One time we went and saw Twilight... for the lulz.

    Basically we laughed all the way through and I ended up writing a review of the film, going over the good, the bad, and the ugly.

    The only good thing to come out of Twilight, for me, is that it got me off my arse and writing out the many novel ideas in my head.

    @RC: Besides the fact it is horribly written, Twilight glorifies dependant and abusive relationships, is extremely sexist, has implications of paedophilia/child grooming being "all right" (so long as it is love) and much more. And that's just a tiny scratch on the surface.